Reflections from my 30's

Why am I stuck? I am doing everything I need to do to access better and yet it seems that I am not unlocking the future I desire. What am I doing wrong? I always seem to have the door slightly ajar but never open wide enough to walk right through it. It's always just a glimpse, a shadow, a glimmer of the future. I have always been a proponent of preparing for the life that you desire and I have been doing just that. Preparing educationally, spiritually, emotionally, and socially but yet never able to 'close the deal'. So many hopes and dreams for life backed by the requisite action but nothing. Can you relate? Well, let's talk about it. What is this concept of being stuck? What does that mean? For me it's that feeling of not moving forward, not making progress in the direction of my dreams.  I think of a scenario of walking, moving my feet but doing all of that on spot. Therefore there is neither forward nor backward movement so I am not changing my position or loca

Who came up with this saying? This person definitely was not experiencing the kind of pressure we face today. Society tells us that by the age of thirty (30) we should be married, own a car and a house, already have one child, and be settled in our careers making lots of money. We should know what we are about, our passions, our calling, and have a plan for our lives as we walk out our productive years.  If we are all honest with ourselves, many of us have been to that place mentally and back.  After we have passed a certain age we feel that since we have not achieved a certain milestone that we need to 'help God out' by taking matters into our own hands otherwise it won't happen for us, or we just live without that level of expectation. We s ubmit to the pressure and determine that since we have not achieved these things within 'the timeframe' that somehow we are doing something wrong or that something is wrong with us.  I know I have been to this pla

There is something so beautiful about being at peace. Knowing that life will throw many distractions, obstacles, and challenges your way, but that you are at rest. Knowing that whatever the outcome, it is working out in your favor and that God is in control.  Whether it be health, relational, financial or spiritual, life has a way of testing our ability to believe that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Our finite minds can only see the outcome based on the challenge in front of us. It cannot see what is awaiting us at the end. It cannot comprehend that something good can be produced from something seemingly bad. Let's not get it twisted, being at peace does not eliminate the problem, but rather, it protects us from being overcome by it. One can only think about the COVID-19 pandemic that we are currently facing and become overwhelmed. We are fighting an enemy we cannot see and are left at the mercy of those who choose not to obey the protocols. We can do all we can and sti

Have you ever had a day when you know you are walking in the purpose of God but don' t feel that you are making the impact that you should be? Then this is the post for you.  I must be transparent and say that I have tendencies to be an over-thinker but God is working on me. What this means in practical terms, is that quite often after I have completed a task or an activity, I naturally analyse the result and think about the ways it could have been done differently or been improved. I can be my greatest critic to the point where I doubt whether it was done well or the desired result was achieved. Case Study The Lord, over this COVID-19 lockdown has provided a platform on social media for me to share a message of hope, restoration and renewal. To lend my voice to the discussions on topical issues that affect young people, and to encourage persons to continue on the journey with Jesus no matter how hard. That we are all in the fight together, and because we are his

I do not know if I am experiencing 'cabin fever' but today was a particularly rough day for me. This stay at home life because of the COVID-19 pandemic has caused me to do even more reflection than the norm. I mean I have more 'free' time than usual. It seems that my thoughts have gone into overdrive. As I lay here facing the silence, I am forced to face the music. To hear all of the negative voices within me, and to once and for all, silence them. As I ponder this I try to put it all into perspective.  I think about how hard I have been on myself. I have been so critical of myself and I am always thinking about how I could have done something better, been better or looked better. I am always trying to attain perfection and always fall short in my mind.  It has always been easy to say that perfection is an illusion and that none of us are perfect but my actions has demonstrated something totally different. So much so that it has proven difficult to accept words of

It was just over 21/2 years ago that I decided with fear and trepidation to go back to my natural roots. It was something that I was contemplating for a while and just never had the courage to do because I felt that the raw natural look would not suit me.  Worse I am a low maintenance kinda girl and having to actually take care of and find styles for my hair would have been a task (still is). I just prefer braids and when my hair was relaxed (even though it was not in the most healthy state) because I could just put my hair in a bun or let it out and be on my way.  However, I saw more persons embracing their natural hair during that season, and the more I entertained the idea is the more I felt comfortable doing it. I also suffered with eczema and it did not agree with the relaxer process. So going natural really was the better route for my hair health. I remember mentioning the desire to do the big chop to someone and they said short hair does not fit you and t

As COVID-19 grips the attention of every nation on the planet I can only think about the hope that this Easter season brings us.  Today on this Good Friday I sit and reflect on the goodness of the Lord in a time where to some it may seem like the enemy is winning. Death, fear, depression and lack pervades the atmosphere. However, m y faith in God tells me that I have a hope in spite of everything transpiring around me. His sacrificial act of love on the cross ensured  that today I would have a hope beyond the fear.  For you see, my relationship with God has always been, and will continue to be beyond my 30's, my foundation. I can be the best version of myself because God paid the ultimate price for me so that I can live above fear, doubt, worry and insecurity. Without God there would be no me and this truth has become even more real to me as I walk out my thirties. 22 years ago on a Good Friday like this, I immersed myself through water baptism into the Kingdom of God and

If you are anything like me, at some point during the course of your life you would have struggled with some insecurities. Persons have insecurities in relation to their voice, weight, disabilities, fashion sense and so many other areas. For me it was feeling that because of my height that I was not taken seriously. Being 36 and 4ft 10'' is by no means the norm. Not to mention the fact that I do not have a 'big' personality which is normally associated with shorter individuals. So I've often felt ignored, overlooked, underestimated and undermined.  Even something as simple as purchasing clothes became a task. I have had to come to peace with the fact that for certain items of clothing that I will have to adjust them. It took a while to arrive at that point of peace because I despised being different. I wanted to fit in, to feel a part of. That sense of belonging was what I was seeking.  The reality is that I look half my age. For many this would seem like a non